Is a question asked to me over and over. With my lease ending in my NYC apartment at the close of July, I was faced with a decision I knew the answer to months ago. It only took me half-way through my one-year lease to realize that I am moving to LA in the fall. Everybody asks the same question: why? New Yorkers, for good reason, don’t see a point in leaving the five boroughs for the spread-out, traffic-plagued, plasticity of Southern California. That is one of the reasons I love NY. Because we are the utmost, the end-all-be-all, the “fine, leave! we don’t need you anyway.” Leaving NYC has nothing to do with NYC. There is just an incessant force pulling me westward.
“I don’t know.”
There is no one answer that really makes sense. Maybe I will come back in a year’s time and admit that it “wasn’t for me” and I couldn’t handle the city’s superficiality or lack of culture. That would bring a more definite answer, at least. The biggest personal torture would be to never know my answer to “why?” This is why I leave the East Coast in a few months. To seek answers. Whatever I may find, run into, or lose out there brings me closer to my long-term answers.
I will never lose my NY identity, I am not one of the spineless masses that will sell there soul for a cameo on some ABC Family show. I will do everything on my own terms and my own way. There is no such thing as winning if you never lose, someone probably said once. As time passes, I will lose and I will win. Leaving NYC is a temporary loss, but one I can deal with as I need to take risks to achieve what I want. That is why.